1
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,350
What?

2
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,320
A lads' holiday, in China?

3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,830
Why are you doing that?

4
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,070
Oh, well, he's been
away at uni for a year.

5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,190
You know, he's a student.

6
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,030
So we thought we'd have
a bit of a catch up.

7
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,630
And he just got dumped, so it's a bit...

8
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,110
Oh, I'm sorry, but that's not
what I meant. I meant, why China?

9
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,550
That was me. That was Dildo's
idea. Erm, Dylan. Yeah.

10
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,070
I don't really mind where we
go, as long as we get smashed,

11
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,590
soak up the sun, meet
some girls, you know.

12
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,830
Oh, no, you're not going
to get to do that.

13
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,710
Of course we can.
What do you mean we won't do that?

14
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,260
Cos this is what I do. It's
my job. I'm a travel writer.

15
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:42,150
So trust me when I say that
China is not right for you.

16
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,430
This is not ideal, is it? Hearing
about this right now, on the plane.

17
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,990
Not really. No.
Sorry about that.

18
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,150
But you have made a mistake.

19
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,630
Unless you're going for a
reason that I'm not aware of.

20
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,230
No. No, course not.

21
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,670
We just wanted to do something
a bit different. Different.

22
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,430
Out there. Yeah. Didn't want to
fall into the same old tourist traps

23
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,310
as everyone else.
Yeah, but you will though.

24
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,470
You will. You'll find them.

25
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,110
What's them? Who's them?
Everyone else.

26
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,950
The kids exactly like you.

27
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,190
It's like two dung beetles
on top of a pile of lion poop,

28
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,790
and one says to the other,
"Hey, fancy meeting you here!"

29
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,310
You know? No. No.

30
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,630
You're all into the same shit.

31
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,470
Anyway fellas, I hope that
your friendship still functions

32
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:22,630
in a different context.

33
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,510
In my experience, it may not.

34
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,550
So just enjoy Thailand.

35
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,190
But we're not going to Thailand.

36
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,780
But you will.

37
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,270
Don't listen to her. No.
This is going to be amazing.

38
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,510
Promise! China!

39
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,870
<i>Hey, I'm in love</i>

40
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,960
<i>My fingers keep on clicking
to the beating of my heart</i>

41
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,710
<i>Hey it's cause of you</i>

42
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,950
<i>The world is in a crazy hazy hue</i>

43
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,150
<i>My heart is beating like a jungle drum</i>

44
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:03,590
<i>Bad-a-dunk-da-dunk-da-dunk</i>

45
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,110
<i>My heart is beating like a jungle drum</i>

46
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,160
<i>Rack-a-dug-a-dunk-dunk
a-rack-a-dunk-dunk.</i>

47
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,070
Are like... are there
any beaches in Beijing?

48
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,030
Or is it more...

49
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,230
This? It's this, yeah,
but it's amazing, right?

50
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,430
Yeah! Yeah, definitely.

51
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,110
The sheer rate of progress.

52
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,110
15 years ago these guys
were just riding bikes.

53
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,000
Yeah. I mean, so were we.

54
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,990
Shall we find a bar or something
then, get this holiday going?

55
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,350
Sean, it's 7am.

56
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,150
Well, it's midnight in London.
It's not a holiday, by the way.

57
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,550
We're travelling.

58
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,430
It's all about embracing new experiences.

59
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,750
Yeah, OK. Let's travel then.

60
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,900
Eh, look out for a toilet.
Let's go, Beijing!

61
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,270
I think I'm going to find another one.

62
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,710
Something a bit more Western.

63
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,760
Yeah. I think I might change
out of these flip-flops.

64
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,390
Dyl? Are you all right in there?

65
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,230
Have you got the shits already, or what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

66
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,910
Just give me a sec, OK?

67
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,190
There's another guy waiting
to use the toilet though.

68
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,430
Ah, no, you're all right,
bud. Don't you worry.

69
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,070
Been there, done that, blocked the U-bend.

70
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,070
There are just so many squat toilets
in China that when you actually do

71
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,630
find a proper sit-down
job, it's good to...

72
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,030
enjoy yourself. Let rip.

73
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,630
Really open her up.

74
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,750
Fill your boots, mate.

75
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,310
I've just come back from Guilin.

76
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,470
Oh! Oh, yeah. Right,
right. Nice. Yes. Have you been?

77
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,070
Nope.
What is it?

78
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,950
What's Guilin? Yeah. Wow!

79
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,510
Magical. It's the one
with the big green hills.

80
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,310
The hillocks.

81
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,470
We went rafting, me and...

82
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,790
I'm travelling with two girls.

83
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,390
Oh, nice.
Yeah, not bad.

84
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,550
We went rafting. It's just
cheaper as a threesome.

85
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,710
We're not a threesome. I wish we were.

86
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,870
But, no, It's just very expensive
to hire a raft on your own.

87
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,470
Or any vessel.

88
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,230
You learn that the hard
way, believe you me.

89
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,310
Oh, I must tell you, I got
given a massive water proof.

90
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,390
Right, do you know what?
I'll meet you outside, yeah?

91
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,550
All right, mate.
All right.

92
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,430
All right. Nice to meet
you. Nice to meet you.

93
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,950
Old school.

94
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,040
Hey!

95
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,590
Hi!
Hi, hi.

96
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,550
Do you speak English?
Yeah, yeah, I can.

97
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,750
I'm... I'm... I can... I'm English.

98
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,910
OK, amazing. Erm, so, could you...

99
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,590
This stuff belongs to a friend of ours.

100
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,070
He's just inside using the bathroom.

101
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,870
And we just don't want
to leave it unattended.

102
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,470
Oh, yeah. I just met him.
Could you just watch it till he gets back?

103
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,790
Yeah, yeah, sure. Sure, sure, sure.
Amazing. OK. Thanks.

104
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,030
Sorry, but why can't you do it?

105
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,430
Why can't I do it?
We're going to miss our train.

106
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,390
Right, we're going to miss our train.
So isn't he going with you?

107
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,840
He, erm...

108
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,430
Yeah, May, this isn't working.

109
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,030
OK, look. We met this guy at Guilin.

110
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,830
Shared a raft? I know.

111
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,230
Right. And he tagged along to Beijing.

112
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,390
And now he wants to come and camp by the Great
Wall with us. Oh, cool. I know, right?

113
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,230
It's with the Beijing Panda Hostel,
if you want to do it, it's ready cool.

114
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,470
No, Ash, stop inviting people.

115
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,790
OK. Anyways, we're just
going to leave these here.

116
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,630
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't dump him on me.

117
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,630
He's not my problem.

118
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,310
OK.

119
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,070
Please, there's a lot riding
on this for me, you know?

120
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,720
It's like a big homecoming trip, so...

121
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,110
We've had him for four days.

122
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,070
This isn't a take-it-in-turns thing.

123
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,310
It's not my turn with him.

124
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,390
If you guys don't want
him around, just tell him.

125
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,070
Thank you, that's exactly what I said.

126
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,310
But she's... She's scared.

127
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,150
Sean, come on. We've got
to get a wiggle on, man.

128
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,540
Come on.

129
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,390
OK. Well, maybe we'll see you guys around.

130
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,630
Bye! Bye. See you.

131
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,230
Why's it so heavy? Have you got
your plumbing tools in here or what?

132
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,190
That's Mum's old one.
Yeah, is your mum in here?

133
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,030
You all right in there, Janine?!

134
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,680
They were cute.

135
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:30,910
Why do I have to tell him?

136
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,750
You're the one who has
a problem with the guy.

137
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,710
You invited him on our raft.
You caused this... shit show.

138
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,310
He would have come anyway.
He wouldn't.

139
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,710
People like him need to be invited in.
Oh, like vampires?

140
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:40,950
Yes. Yes, like vampires.

141
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,230
He's like a very chatty British vampire.

142
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:44,590
And I am paying for all of this.

143
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,830
So... May, your
mom's paying, not you.

144
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,230
Please, it's not like
he's adding anything.

145
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,990
Just found a load of money.

146
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,550
Whoopsie!

147
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,350
Hundred. Hundred. Hundred.
Way to go, Greg!

148
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,950
Smell the money, May. I'm not
smelling the money, Ashley. Come on.

149
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,070
Cos those girls were saying
there's this place by the

150
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,670
Wall where we can go camping.

151
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,590
Which could be kind of sick,
and cultural, for you.

152
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,390
Maybe we could see a panda.
I've heard pandas are a bit shit.

153
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,510
What? How can a panda be shit?
How can it not be, in a way?

154
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,710
I've got it all mapped out, OK?

155
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:12,750
Over the next ten weeks,

156
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,230
we're going to see every
Asian culturally good thing.

157
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,390
Beaches, walls, ninjas, the lot.

158
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,230
We don't have to follow the first
couple of girls we meet. OK?

159
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,190
All right. I'm just
saying. You're single now,

160
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,310
it's the best way of getting
over Hitler, isn't it?

161
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,350
Sean. Can you not call
Lauren Hitler? Yeah?

162
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,710
What? Why not?

163
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,230
Because it's Hilter. It's
a Scottish name, Hilter.

164
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,670
She just gets upset when people
confuse her with the Fuhrer.

165
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,750
Well, I think it suits her.
They're both arseholes.

166
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,670
They both got the...

167
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,150
What?! She dumped you. You should
be calling her Hitler as well.

168
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,870
Yeah, but just because we broke up
doesn't mean I want to besmirch her.

169
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,630
Right, if that means
slag her off, then yeah,

170
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,310
that's exactly what you should be doing.

171
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,460
Just let me handle it,
OK? I know what I'm doing.

172
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,550
What is it?

173
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,870
This is your money now.
OK? Finders keepers.

174
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,950
I just think, guilt-wise, I'd
be happier if we split it.

175
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,070
Yeah. Yeah. Me, too.
Yeah, you want some?

176
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,710
Yeah, that's great. That's a great idea.

177
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,760
Yeah, you take that.
OK, thank you. Boom.

178
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:12,670
OK, I cannot keep relying on
your mom's very anal budget, May.

179
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,590
I need some cash for me.

180
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,550
I'm really going to need some sunglasses.

181
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,470
Yeah, gotcha. You know, we
might see them again anyway.

182
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,070
We don't know. Come back down from
the Great Wall, bump into them,

183
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,390
who knows?
Greg, about that.

184
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,790
It'll be really uncomfortable
and boring up there,

185
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,830
so if you don't want to come camping...

186
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:34,110
Two girls, on their own, in a
tent in the middle of nowhere.

187
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,910
Yes, please.
What?

188
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,110
Is what your attacker will be thinking.

189
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,550
Of course I'm coming, May.

190
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,270
Look after you both.

191
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,860
Hey, guys? I'll have a piece of this.

192
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,870
Oh, my God, this is a nightmare.

193
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,270
He will not take a hint.
What's happening?

194
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,070
Yes, please!

195
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,750
With the rucksack on.

196
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,150
How much was it?
50 to 200, something like that.

197
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,310
Well, which one, 200 or 50?

198
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,550
It doesn't matter, it's gone.
It's not going to be there.

199
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,070
I'm going to have 45-grand's
worth of student debt.

200
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,950
What's another few hundred quid?

201
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,190
Yeah, another reason why I'm
grateful I'm not a student.

202
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,710
Yeah. Here.

203
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,550
Put this on. For the pollution.

204
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,470
No, I've got that covered, really.

205
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,790
So how's it all going
then, at uni and stuff?

206
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,940
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
Yeah? Walk and talk?

207
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,270
Well, like Tony won't let me work in gas,

208
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,790
so I only get to work in
like taps and showers.

209
00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,150
It's pretty wet work. I'm wet a lot.

210
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,390
Hang on a sec, Sean. This is...

211
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,390
We're going to stop
here. OK. Cool.

212
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,230
What? Aren't we carrying on then?
No, we're here. We're here.

213
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,270
Cool. So, what is it?

214
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,950
Well, it's a traditional park.

215
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,550
Your bamboo, your pagoda.

216
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,670
Wow, we've even got some
traditional Chinese buskers.

217
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,470
Oh, sick.

218
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,350
What, is it like an attraction?

219
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,470
Oh, yeah. Big-time. A big attraction.

220
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,590
It's definitely up there.

221
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,230
So should we find a hotel now then?

222
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,710
Yeah, in a bit.
Catch up, have a beer.

223
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,110
We need to take it in first, Sean.

224
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,910
I have taken it in.
You can't have taken it in.

225
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,190
You just got here.
Seriously, I need to put my bags down.

226
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,030
Well, just a sec, Sean.
Why?

227
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,150
Just because...

228
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,870
Dylan!
Lauren?

229
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,390
Wow! Lauren!

230
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,040
What are the...

231
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,430
What are the chances?
Oh, my God, Dylan, you can't be here.

232
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,150
No! We're just on holiday.

233
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,030
You know, travelling around Asia.

234
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,310
Erm... We were coming here anyway.

235
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,190
Really?
So... How mad is this?

236
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,070
What, she's here?
Well, evidently I'm here.

237
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,790
No, I mean, is that why we're here?

238
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,590
No, we came to see the park.

239
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:35,910
Asia. I'm talking about Asia.

240
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,830
No, this? We, erm...

241
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,750
This is coincidence.

242
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,830
Or fate.
No, stalking.

243
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,510
Stalking? Wow! We're stalking?

244
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,750
No, we're not stalking.

245
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,510
Is that why you made
me wear this facemask?

246
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,910
No, that's for the air.
Oh, my God, is this even an attraction?

247
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,750
No, it's a park.
Well, it's an attractive park.

248
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,270
Look, I cannot believe you're
accosting me like this, Dylan,

249
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,310
in public. It's really not on.

250
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,950
You didn't reply to any of
my e-mails, so how did I know?

251
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,830
And you just ended it.
Why did you do that?

252
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,110
Oh, yeah, Dylan, I can't do this.
Babe, please. I'm sorry.

253
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,350
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just listen to me.

254
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,910
You are my home.

255
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,190
I lived in you and wanted for naught.

256
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,270
What are you doing now?

257
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,590
It's a poem, Sean.
It doesn't even rhyme.

258
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,750
Just wait by the bags, yeah?

259
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,670
What, like a caddie? Like
your stalking caddie?

260
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,350
No, Sean. That's golf.

261
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,430
OK?

262
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,630
And now I'm homeless,

263
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,560
caught. And I've...

264
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,070
I've tried... I've tried...
Sorry, who's this guy?

265
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,350
Oh, Norm, Nailer.

266
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,990
Hey, everyone calls me Social Norm.

267
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,870
On acount of me being very social.

268
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,460
Running in the AM, funning in the PM.

269
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,870
Yeah, Norm, this is Dylan.

270
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,750
He was...

271
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,190
We go to university together.

272
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,150
And this is Dylan's home friend.

273
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,870
It's Sean.
Right.

274
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,630
Nice. Well, welcome.

275
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:53,590
Well, it was really great
to see you guys briefly,

276
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,870
but I've really got to go, Dylan.
Babe, please.

277
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,750
I've only got a very narrow time window.

278
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,110
Just wait, there's just one more
thing I need to say to you...

279
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,360
Have a good trip, hombres.
Don't do any ONE I wouldn't do!

280
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,630
All right!

281
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:07,880
Dyl?

282
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,670
I don't get it.

283
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,430
We were each other's everything.

284
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,710
We'd run together, we'd breathe together.

285
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,550
And we'd make simple, but
delicious Lebanese food together.

286
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,150
And then she just... Out
of nowhere, she ends it.

287
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,140
And won't tell me why.

288
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,110
You think you know someone
and then they just change,

289
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,390
you know what I mean?
I do, actually, yeah.

290
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,590
I mean, what did you think I
was? Just some kind of idiot?

291
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,350
That I'm going to think
the whole thing was

292
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,350
just some kind of miraculous
miracle or surprise?

293
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,830
No, I thought that I could talk to her,

294
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,430
and the three of us could go travelling.

295
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,430
Three of us? We're not three, Dyl.
No, of course not yet!

296
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,150
I don't want to go
travelling with a couple.

297
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,030
I live at home. I spend
all my time with a couple.

298
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,470
Yeah, but it wouldn't be like that.

299
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,390
It's me and Lauren, it's
not your mum and Tony.

300
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,470
Yeah, I know it's not.

301
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,750
They're not always banging on
about jogging or being vegans.

302
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,340
Vegetarians.

303
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,590
From Nish in Glastonbury.

304
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,110
We could have been anywhere, Dyl.

305
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,150
But we're in China,

306
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,230
with all this smell of
people shitting on the floor.

307
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,590
I'm sorry. Stalking
Hitler and her new boyfriend.

308
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,870
I don't think they're a couple.
He had his arm around her.

309
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,670
Yeah, but he's Social
Norm. He's famously social.

310
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,790
He slapped her on the bum!

311
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,030
Yeah, but that could be a
running thing, I'm sure. My God!

312
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,390
Dyl, are you serious?!

313
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,030
Give it up! You've gone mad!

314
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,870
OK?

315
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,320
It's over.

316
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,150
Yeah, it's over.

317
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,440
I'm sorry.

318
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,270
You know what? Whatever.

319
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,390
It don't even matter. Let's just...

320
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,870
We can turn this trip around.

321
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,790
Forget about Lauren. It's not about
her any more, it's about me and you.

322
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,710
Old-school fun times.

323
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,270
Yeah?
Yeah.

324
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,260
And thank you so much.

325
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,190
I'm up for getting lashed, if you want.

326
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,110
No, it's cool. I've got a better idea.

327
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,830
Drink up. Quick.

328
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:04,810
Oh, hi. Hi, sorry, do you know
which side is better for the wall?

329
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:08,300
Cos we want the most sun, but
the least tourists, so...

330
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:10,890
OK, er...

331
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:16,010
American, you?
No, Chinese. Shen...

332
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:18,130
What was that? Shen...?

333
00:14:18,180 --> 00:14:20,530
Hey, I think that's what
the raff guy called you.

334
00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:21,930
"Shen jao" something.

335
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:24,250
I'm pretty sure that...
All right?

336
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,970
Oh, hey! Hey! You made it. Yeah.

337
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:29,810
So, you managed to get rid of him, then?

338
00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:32,090
What.
Ooh!

339
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:34,330
Hey. I'm Sean.
Greg Lavelle.

340
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:36,850
We met earlier. In the boys'
bogs! In the boys' bogs.

341
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,210
Yeah, we did. How are you? I'm
good, how are you? Yeah, yeah.

342
00:14:39,260 --> 00:14:42,010
I'm good, thank you. You
must be captain constipated.

343
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:44,730
He was waiting for you for ages.
Hi, yeah. Dylan Nutkin.

344
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:47,930
Hey... OK, you're doing that. Lovely
to meet you. Hi. Here he comes. Hi.

345
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:49,930
The old smoothie. Greg Lavelle.

346
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:52,210
This is May. And this is Ashley.

347
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:54,810
Ashley. And together we
are the three Rafter-teers.

348
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:58,610
That's not our name, Greg.
We're not a group. Oh, brother?

349
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,450
I think you might be in luck here.

350
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,130
No. Did you leave some
money in the boys' bogs?

351
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:07,450
Yes! What? Oh...
Amazing. Oh, wow. Amazing.

352
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:10,490
Yeah, that was my Thomas Cook,
yeah. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah.

353
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:14,170
Any time. There you go. OK. We
just spent, like a little bit.

354
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,850
Erm, I hope that's OK.

355
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,090
Sure.

356
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:19,680
That's fine. That's fine.
Yeah.

357
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:28,170
So then the Helen broke her arm
cycling in to an ambulance,

358
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,650
which is pretty hilarious,

359
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:32,730
so she couldn't come, and Helen
knew that I didn't have any plans

360
00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:36,170
over the summer, so she was like,
"Why don't you go to China instead?

361
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:39,690
"Because it's free and you
and May will get along great."

362
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:43,010
So, yeah, we do. We do,
right? Mm. It's great.

363
00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:45,770
So you guys didn't know
each other from before this.

364
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,530
No, amazing, just pure fortune.

365
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,970
No, sorry, I was just
talking to Ashley and May.

366
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:53,570
Well, I mean, I knew of her. But
my mum wouldn't let me go on my own.

367
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,930
Thank God. We've seen
some crazy-ass shit here.

368
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:58,970
Yeah, I mean, it's not crazy for me.

369
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:01,770
But you've never been here before either.
No, I know, it's just...

370
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:03,850
You know, it's my heritage, so...

371
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:06,650
I get it. What about you guys?

372
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,090
Oh, we're sort of a
lads holiday. What?

373
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:11,690
No, Sean.
No, travelling. I mean travelling.

374
00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,570
Just travelling. Around Asia.

375
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,090
OK, so why China?

376
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,090
Er, well, we just thought
it would be interesting.

377
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:21,690
You know, we both like
kung fu and... rice.

378
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,280
Right, dildo?

379
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:28,250
Yeah, no, and I'm doing a module
in the Chinese philosophy. So...

380
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,370
Well, I study philosophy.

381
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:32,490
"Dildo". Are you called dildo?

382
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:33,930
Yeah!

383
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:36,970
No, no. Of course not.
That's just an old nickname.

384
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,490
It's Dylan.

385
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,460
You bell-end!

386
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,890
Jeez.
Sorry, can you tell the driver

387
00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:44,930
to just drive a bit
more carefully, please?

388
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,130
Sure. Sure.

389
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:53,050
Is it a case of charades?

390
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,930
Xiangjiao ren.

391
00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:58,520
OK, I'm finding out what that means.

392
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,970
You know, this happens all the time.

393
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,020
I think she's actually
been learning Japanese.

394
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:07,010
"Xiangjiao ren, banana person.

395
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,970
"Derogatory Chinese term for
simulated Asian-Americans,

396
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:12,960
"yellow on the outside,
white on the inside."

397
00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,600
It's OK, it's meant as a joke. So...

398
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:25,350
And that is you all over.
She's a total banana.

399
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,270
He's got your number.

400
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,380
Winding you up.

401
00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:50,740
Oh, yes.

402
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,250
Sean, just a quick one...

403
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,850
Erm, maybe don't call me
"dildo" in front of the others.

404
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,770
Just, dildos are a bit offensive to women.

405
00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:01,530
Dildos are offensive to women?

406
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,810
No. Maybe. It's an
interesting moral conundrum.

407
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:08,210
Cos you have been a bit of a dildo.
I know, I'm sorry.

408
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:10,250
Just makes us look bad.

409
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,890
Obama!

410
00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:14,410
And there's buying
this tourist tat. What?

411
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:15,890
I'm sorry...

412
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:18,250
I'm honestly not trying to be a dick.

413
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:21,540
Try a bit harder.
I know, I am. I will. I'm on it.

414
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:24,730
This is going to be so ideal.

415
00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:26,580
That's a guarantee.

416
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:29,770
Right.

417
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:32,250
Oi, oi, oi, oi.

418
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,050
Do you know what you're getting?

419
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,010
Not specifically, but my mum
says Chinese snacks are the best.

420
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:40,010
Oh, because you cannot go
wrong with the old Pringles.

421
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:41,810
Hey, are we allowed to buy wine now?

422
00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:44,050
Cos the camping's meant
to be more relaxed, right?

423
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:46,850
Well, my mum isn't meant to
be paying for alcohol and,

424
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,330
you know, we'd have to
buy a corkscrew as well.

425
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,050
Sorry, guys! Did I just buy 30 beers?

426
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:55,050
Yes, brother!
What, seriously? 30?

427
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,490
Yeah. Old school fun times, mate.

428
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,250
That's I'm talking about, dildo.

429
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,330
I'm beginning to fall in love with you.

430
00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,090
Yes, please.

431
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:08,290
Getting lashed on the Great Wall.

432
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,570
As God intended.

433
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:12,290
We do all right.

434
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,810
Right...

435
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,930
Hey. Which one do you think you fancy?

436
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:19,320
Cos I reckon May might like you.

437
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:28,210
Wall... ees!

438
00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:31,210
"Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

439
00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:33,330
That's what I'm talking about.

440
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:36,250
What a wall! China!
Greg!

441
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,050
Can you ssh, please?
Sure, sorry.

442
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,210
Can I just take this in...
Of course... in silence! Yes.

443
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,530
Been to the Berlin wall.

444
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:46,650
Been to the Wailing Wall.

445
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:49,170
But then you get to this
wall and you just think,

446
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:52,090
"Well, they were shit walls."
Greg! Ssh!

447
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:54,410
Sure.

448
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,730
Shh...

449
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:58,120
China has absolutely nailed it.

450
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:01,730
Mum? Yeah.

451
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:03,970
I'm safe.

452
00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:06,170
There's a slide on the wall, apparently.

453
00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,770
Where? Here?

454
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:10,370
No, somewhere totally different.
Because!

455
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,210
It doesn't matter. Yeah.

456
00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:14,210
Great.

457
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:19,290
Well, I'm trying to appreciate...
Wall-to-wall... wall, isn't it?

458
00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:23,640
This is it, this is the camp site.
OK, I got to go, mum. Goodbye.

459
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,300
OK, yeah, this is really amazing.

460
00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,490
Um...

461
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,810
Why are there other
people camping over here?

462
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:37,210
That's the whole point
of coming to wild wall,

463
00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:41,090
to watch the sunrise without having
tourists in our fricking eye-line!

464
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,130
What do we do?

465
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:44,690
We could erect some kind of wall.

466
00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:47,210
I'll, um, I'll ask them to move.

467
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:50,140
Thank you, Dylan. Great.
Big guy.

468
00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:54,530
Can you put your bloody comic book down

469
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:56,730
and help me inflate this thing, please?
Graphic novel.

470
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:59,130
And I can't help you inflate
it because there's only one...

471
00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:00,850
Er, hello? Hi.

472
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:04,290
Sorry, erm... I just wondered, have you
guys seen a music festival anywhere?

473
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:06,730
It's meant to be on the wall,
but it's not back that way...

474
00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:10,050
Where on the wall? You see, I
don't know, but it's just on the wall.

475
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:12,170
So maybe you walked past it, or...?
Walked past it?

476
00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:14,330
Do you know how long this thing is?
I know it's long...

477
00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:17,490
It's 5,000 miles. Even The
Proclaimers couldn't walk this.

478
00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:20,730
So, you haven't walked past
it, then? No. Great, OK.

479
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,370
Well, it's actually pretty good,

480
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,890
cos my ex-girlfriend's going
to be there and I really don't

481
00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:27,570
want to see her, but I do really
want to see her. It's just...

482
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,330
Yeah, we don't give a shit.
OK, Kendra. Don't be rude.

483
00:21:30,380 --> 00:21:31,850
I'm being rude?!

484
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,610
He's the one sticking his head into
our tent without even knocking.

485
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:37,530
I'm sorry, but it's a tent,
it's not very knock-able.

486
00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:38,980
Hey.

487
00:21:40,780 --> 00:21:44,080
Could you get a photo of us, please?
Yeah, sure.

488
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:46,570
Smile.

489
00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:48,890
Cheese. That's great.

490
00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:50,850
You're so sweaty.

491
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:53,810
We're doing our honeymoon
photomontage thing.

492
00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:55,110
Wait, you two are married?

493
00:21:55,660 --> 00:21:58,130
I thought you were
brother and sister. What?

494
00:21:58,180 --> 00:22:01,130
Well, no, you just look similar
and your overall vibe is...

495
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:03,530
What vibe? What
vibe? Is there vibe?

496
00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:06,010
No, no, no, there's no vibe.

497
00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:07,530
Could you piss off now, please?

498
00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:11,930
Yeah. No, I want to. Oh, actually,
can you guys just scooch down a bit?

499
00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:15,690
It's just we're to get... Yeah, you
should really go now. Yeah, I... OK.

500
00:22:15,740 --> 00:22:18,690
Jesus Christ. Right, yeah.
Leave the flap open, why don't you?

501
00:22:18,740 --> 00:22:20,210
Some people have no manners.

502
00:22:20,260 --> 00:22:23,420
Well, this one's some kind of... fungus.

503
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:27,210
And that is...

504
00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:29,170
duck.

505
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:30,970
Neck.
Neck.

506
00:22:32,140 --> 00:22:35,810
Well, that's what you get when you
let a banana buy your food for you.

507
00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:38,050
Let's get this mega-lash
underway, shall we?

508
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:43,970
Let's, er, you know, take it slow,
Greg. Uh? It's 7pm. 7pm? Yeah.

509
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:46,050
Oh, my godfathers.
What?

510
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:48,250
The bloody cricket's started.

511
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,570
Thank you, Mavis.
What?

512
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,330
Ooh...

513
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,010
Fuller delivery this time,
pitched just outside...

514
00:22:55,060 --> 00:22:57,170
How long's that going to be on for?

515
00:22:57,220 --> 00:23:01,010
About five days. Oh. Oh, yes.

516
00:23:01,060 --> 00:23:02,890
Come on, England!

517
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,410
Give me another yucky ducky.

518
00:23:04,460 --> 00:23:07,380
Oh, yes, Greg.
Stuart Broad...

519
00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:20,730
So, what do you think of the beer?

520
00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,330
Mm.

521
00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:24,730
Yeah, it's good. It's just very warm.

522
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:26,610
Yeah, sorry, they didn't
have any cold ones...

523
00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:28,860
Ooh, I bought you something.

524
00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:31,690
Ah...

525
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:40,290
Just to say sorry, you know, for
the whole Lauren thing. Obama.

526
00:23:41,700 --> 00:23:43,210
Thanks, mate.
Well, yeah, it's just,

527
00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:46,010
it's over between us now and...
It's just me and you, so...

528
00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:47,460
Yes, Dill.

529
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:50,100
Just like old times.

530
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:55,320
Thanks, Dill.

531
00:23:59,420 --> 00:24:02,530
There're probably trying
to decide who they fancy.

532
00:24:02,580 --> 00:24:04,370
Love it, love it...

533
00:24:04,420 --> 00:24:06,490
Where are we supposed to hide?
I don't know.

534
00:24:06,540 --> 00:24:09,090
You're the one who suggested it.
You said we'd lose them up here.

535
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:11,170
No, I know! It's just...

536
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:13,610
These other guys are
here now, so... So?

537
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:16,570
But they're fun! And...
Come on, Greg was...

538
00:24:16,620 --> 00:24:19,210
He's not that bad.
Howzee!

539
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:21,610
Yes! Bowled!
Clattering into off stump.

540
00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:24,370
I don't even know what
cricket is, and I hate it.

541
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:26,850
Please, I've been planning
this trip for years, you know?

542
00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:28,610
And that plan never included...

543
00:24:28,660 --> 00:24:31,050
Bye-bye. Off you pop, mate!

544
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:32,500
Piss off!

545
00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:35,850
.. that!
OK, OK.

546
00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:37,930
I've got a plan. All right?

547
00:24:37,980 --> 00:24:40,330
We're going to take care
of this right now. OK.

548
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:44,170
Greg. Yes! 38-3, and
we are beasting them.

549
00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:46,690
Great. May has something to say. Oh.

550
00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,690
No, Ashley has something to say.

551
00:24:48,740 --> 00:24:51,250
No, I don't. You do, please.
I have literally nothing to say.

552
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,370
Who has something to say?

553
00:24:53,620 --> 00:24:55,330
Go ahead, May. Tell him.

554
00:24:55,380 --> 00:24:57,250
Tell me what?

555
00:24:57,300 --> 00:25:00,700
OK, er... I was just going to say, um...

556
00:25:02,580 --> 00:25:05,290
People are different.
Sure. Different strokes.

557
00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:08,530
And I think it would be better
for me, for all of us, if...

558
00:25:08,580 --> 00:25:10,570
You know, in the long
run, in the short run...

559
00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:13,420
Both runs.
Yes. Er... If you didn't...

560
00:25:14,740 --> 00:25:17,250
If you weren't...
Oh, shit. What's that?

561
00:25:17,300 --> 00:25:19,100
Yeah, what is that?

562
00:25:20,700 --> 00:25:22,170
Oh, awesome!

563
00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:24,690
I think it's the music festival.
Oh, we should go!

564
00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:27,610
Yeah, we should go. No, no, no.
We should definitely not go. Sean!

565
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:30,050
Yeah!
We probably shouldn't go.

566
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:32,490
What? Why? You want to
go. You said you want to go.

567
00:25:32,540 --> 00:25:35,570
No, we have to be up at 5:30 for
the sunrise on the wall, remember?

568
00:25:35,620 --> 00:25:37,490
I've never really got the whole, um...

569
00:25:37,540 --> 00:25:39,770
seeing things at sunrise thing anyway.

570
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:42,730
Just the same as seeing things at
noon, except you're cold and tired.

571
00:25:42,780 --> 00:25:44,690
Well, I need to see it, OK?
Sure.

572
00:25:44,740 --> 00:25:47,890
I'm not! I just firmly believe that we
should not be going to the festival!

573
00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:49,970
Why?
Because...

574
00:25:50,020 --> 00:25:51,890
What, cos it's not arts and you're clever?

575
00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:53,770
No, because it might be rubbish!

576
00:25:53,820 --> 00:25:57,290
What? What else are we meant to do?
Sit in a tent and drink rank beer?

577
00:25:57,340 --> 00:25:59,370
We won't sleep anyway,
we're jet-lagged to shit.

578
00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:03,650
Are we going to go to the festival
or not? Yes! Oh, come on, Dill.

579
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:07,620
I really want to do this. We might
as well. We're missing Glastonbury.

580
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,180
Well, OK. If you want to
go to the festival, then...

581
00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:16,450
we'll go to the festival! Yay!

582
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:17,700
Yes!

583
00:26:18,980 --> 00:26:20,180
Greg.

584
00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:34,930
500 yen, that's like...
£60, brother. Whoa!

585
00:26:34,980 --> 00:26:37,290
Well, we could go back into
town. Listen to the cricket.

586
00:26:37,340 --> 00:26:39,290
Oh, no, no, no, we're going in.

587
00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:40,770
I'll pay for us, Sean, it's cool.

588
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:42,490
I owe you anyway.

589
00:26:42,540 --> 00:26:44,610
Oh, my God, how much did you spend?

590
00:26:44,660 --> 00:26:47,570
Uh, yeah. I bought some ice creams.

591
00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:49,130
And, um...

592
00:26:49,180 --> 00:26:51,850
these Ray Bans. Sorry.

593
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,730
Well, em...

594
00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:56,250
But I need that money.
I don't have any money.

595
00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:58,890
You can afford to go to university, so...

596
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:00,130
you can afford to pay me back.

597
00:27:00,180 --> 00:27:02,330
Oh, I can't afford university,
I'm on a scholarship.

598
00:27:02,380 --> 00:27:04,250
What? You're on a scholarship?

599
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:05,890
What's so weird about that?
No, nothing,

600
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:08,610
I just didn't peg you as a scholar.

601
00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:11,410
I can't afford to pay, so you're
going to have to cover us.

602
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:13,490
It'll only be about 90 quid! I've got 30.

603
00:27:13,540 --> 00:27:15,810
But that's, like, two
days' wages for me, Dyl.

604
00:27:15,860 --> 00:27:17,730
Come on, Sean. Please?

605
00:27:17,780 --> 00:27:19,890
Yeah, I really don't think
this is Chinese enough.

606
00:27:19,940 --> 00:27:22,650
Especially for 500 yen - no.

607
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,130
But...

608
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:28,690
Oh, oh! Hang on! Look! The price
is less for Chinese people.

609
00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:30,610
Does the Chinese price apply to bananas?

610
00:27:30,660 --> 00:27:33,610
Stop calling me a fucking banana!
Whoa, whoa! Hey, mate, come on,

611
00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:35,290
Chill it. Chill it out.

612
00:27:35,340 --> 00:27:38,610
I'm sorry May, I didn't know that
that actually upset you, I'm sorry.

613
00:27:38,660 --> 00:27:41,130
It... It doesn't. I don't
care, it's just, um...

614
00:27:41,180 --> 00:27:43,290
I already get enough shit
from the Chinese, OK,

615
00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:46,130
I don't need it from you too. OK?

616
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:49,010
It's fine, it's nothing.
Stop looking at me.

617
00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:51,410
I got this, I'll just pay for us.
Are we going in?

618
00:27:51,460 --> 00:27:53,930
Yay!

619
00:27:53,980 --> 00:27:56,730
Hey, I need to go to the toilet first...
Ooh... So, I'll catch you later.

620
00:27:56,780 --> 00:28:00,290
No, I know, I had a bit of that.
I think it's the old neck.

621
00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:02,930
Yeah, yeah.

622
00:28:02,980 --> 00:28:04,720
Good luck to you.

623
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:21,890
Woo! We're going to hit
the dance floor. OK! OK.

624
00:28:21,940 --> 00:28:25,780
Hey, should we get a beer?
Should we get a beer? Yeah, sure.

625
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:47,490
"I lived in you, and wanted for more."

626
00:28:47,540 --> 00:28:50,740
Lauren... Lauren, baby. Bam.

627
00:28:51,820 --> 00:28:53,290
Want to get married?

628
00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:55,930
Hey! I'm so glad we met you guys.

629
00:28:55,980 --> 00:28:58,670
They would never let
us do this on our own.

630
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,250
Dyl's the same.

631
00:29:00,300 --> 00:29:03,930
He's always trying to make my
decisions for me. I know, right?

632
00:29:07,540 --> 00:29:09,090
Yes!
Woo!

633
00:29:09,140 --> 00:29:12,010
I'm really glad we met
you too, by the way.

634
00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,210
So, where are you heading next?

635
00:29:15,260 --> 00:29:17,450
Uh...

636
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:19,810
You should totally come
to May's cousin's wedding.

637
00:29:19,860 --> 00:29:23,090
Dyl would be into that, right?
Yeah. Probably.

638
00:29:23,140 --> 00:29:26,440
I mean, he's binned his
itinerary now, finally, so...

639
00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:45,370
Hey. So, you made it?

640
00:29:45,420 --> 00:29:47,850
Um...
Where's Dylan?

641
00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:50,500
I... I don't know!
OK.

642
00:29:55,860 --> 00:29:58,370
Hey. What? Who's that?

643
00:29:58,420 --> 00:30:00,170
Er... Lauren.

644
00:30:00,220 --> 00:30:03,690
Sorry, I need to look for
Dyl. One minute. Um. OK.

645
00:30:03,740 --> 00:30:06,620
Excuse me! Hi. Can I get...?

646
00:30:08,420 --> 00:30:10,810
I think he's actively
ignoring me. I know.

647
00:30:10,860 --> 00:30:13,210
Where is he? Where's Dyl?

648
00:30:13,260 --> 00:30:15,260
Bogs. Shitting up neck.

649
00:30:17,260 --> 00:30:19,050
What's that all about?

650
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,460
Um...

651
00:30:28,580 --> 00:30:31,210
Wait, so... he didn't
tell her he was coming?

652
00:30:31,260 --> 00:30:33,090
That's... creepy.

653
00:30:33,140 --> 00:30:34,970
Or, you know, romantic?

654
00:30:35,020 --> 00:30:37,090
It's a fine line. Can be.

655
00:30:37,140 --> 00:30:39,650
I've very much been there, done
that, got the restraining order.

656
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:41,850
What? What does that mean?

657
00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:44,210
No... No, I'm joking!

658
00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:46,090
Although, actually, I did, um...

659
00:30:46,140 --> 00:30:48,450
Yeah, I stalked my wife a little
bit, just towards the end.

660
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:50,690
Oh, my God. Are you married?!
Yeah.

661
00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:53,770
What do you mean, "Oh, my God"?
Well, I... Why's that, "Oh, my God"?

662
00:30:53,820 --> 00:30:56,930
I just didn't think you'd have a...
Yeah, I do have a wife!

663
00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:58,490
Not for long, maybe.

664
00:30:58,540 --> 00:31:02,210
It all depends on whether she
proceeds with this... divorce.

665
00:31:02,260 --> 00:31:04,660
Oh. "Oh". Greg, I'm sorry.

666
00:31:05,980 --> 00:31:07,450
It's fine.

667
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:10,730
And anyway, being cheated on is
the single best thing that has

668
00:31:10,780 --> 00:31:13,130
ever happened to me. Without
that, I wouldn't be back in Asia,

669
00:31:13,180 --> 00:31:14,450
tearing Asia another new one!

670
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:16,770
Gap year two, girls.
Woo. Back in the habit.

671
00:31:16,820 --> 00:31:20,720
Now, where are these beers?
Yeah, um... I'm trying, but...

672
00:31:20,860 --> 00:31:22,850
I think this asshole knows I'm American.

673
00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:25,410
HEY! HEY!

674
00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:33,370
Three beers, OK.

675
00:31:33,420 --> 00:31:36,210
There you go! Woo!
You got through!

676
00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:37,860
Well done, May!

677
00:31:47,180 --> 00:31:48,940
Dyl! Dylan?

678
00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:51,450
Dylan?

679
00:31:53,580 --> 00:31:55,770
Dyl! Yeah, just give me a sec, Sean.

680
00:31:55,820 --> 00:31:58,370
Dyl, you in there?
Yeah.

681
00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:01,610
I've just seen Lauren.
Oh, right.

682
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:03,530
Come out.
No, I'm on the loo!

683
00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:06,770
And you're angry at me. It's...
Come out, now! Wait... Sean!

684
00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:08,370
Come out, Dyl!
Waah!

685
00:32:08,420 --> 00:32:09,970
Come out!
It's tipping!

686
00:32:10,020 --> 00:32:11,570
Nooo!

687
00:32:23,140 --> 00:32:26,730
Look what you've done. There's
shit all over my poetry book.

688
00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:28,930
Yeah, I know. I've heard your poems.

689
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:31,890
What do you mean, what I have done?
You're still stalking that bellend.

690
00:32:31,940 --> 00:32:33,530
You suggested it, not me!

691
00:32:33,580 --> 00:32:37,050
The wall was your idea. And
do not call Lauren a bellend.

692
00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:39,090
Well, she is a bellend.
I love her!

693
00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:41,370
Wow! I love her as much as possible!

694
00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:44,330
And I tried to forget her, I have, but...

695
00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,210
my heart's made up its mind.

696
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:48,330
What does that even mean?

697
00:32:52,580 --> 00:32:55,850
Ohh! Oh, Dyl. I...

698
00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:58,850
I quit my job. I wouldn't have come.
So, why did you come?

699
00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:01,100
I came here to see you, Dyl.

700
00:33:01,860 --> 00:33:04,370
This past year's been shit
for me. Do you not get that?

701
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:07,090
I've been sat at home on a
Saturday night watching The Voice

702
00:33:07,140 --> 00:33:09,530
with my stepdad, who's also my boss,

703
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:13,130
constantly giving me shit
about failing my plumbing exam.

704
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:16,170
I put all this on you, on getting away.

705
00:33:16,220 --> 00:33:18,560
I'm just sorry it wasn't enough.

706
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:24,250
You know what? I'm sorry.
No, no. Go. Go find Lauren.

707
00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:26,010
Seriously, see what happens.

708
00:33:26,060 --> 00:33:29,860
I don't even care, I'll just
carry on with the rest of them.

709
00:33:38,420 --> 00:33:41,780
What the hell is that?
That is a banana milkshake.

710
00:33:43,060 --> 00:33:44,930
I... Is that meant to be funny?

711
00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:48,250
Uh, no, that is not cool.
That's basically a hate crime!

712
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:50,170
HEY! NUMB NUTS!
Oh, wait, no, Ash...

713
00:33:50,220 --> 00:33:52,610
No, I am not letting them get
away with this. Not this time, May.

714
00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:56,570
Hey! We know what you're doing, and
it's disgusting! She's Chinese!

715
00:33:56,620 --> 00:34:00,890
Her mum is from China! You racist asshole!

716
00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:02,850
No! No!

717
00:34:05,140 --> 00:34:07,120
Oh, my God, it was her milkshake.
I'm sorry...

718
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,120
Do not touch me! I'm an American!

719
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:18,330
Oh, shit!

720
00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:21,730
Sean! Sean!

721
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,070
Get out the way!

722
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:35,170
Oh, sorry. Excuse me.

723
00:34:44,780 --> 00:34:46,450
Stop chasing me!

724
00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:49,690
Yeah! OK!

725
00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:52,570
Sean!

726
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:08,740
Sean.

727
00:35:10,020 --> 00:35:12,420
Sean.

728
00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:17,460
Where have you been?

729
00:35:18,780 --> 00:35:21,650
I've been looking
everywhere for you, Dilly.

730
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:24,090
So have I.

731
00:35:24,140 --> 00:35:26,810
I mean, I came all the
way to China to find you.

732
00:35:26,860 --> 00:35:31,180
OK, well, I'm here and I'm
listening so talk to me.

733
00:35:32,460 --> 00:35:34,450
OK, Lauren, listen...

734
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:36,650
I've been thinking a lot about us, yeah,

735
00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:40,050
and how important you are to me

736
00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:42,730
and... I just want to...

737
00:35:52,740 --> 00:35:55,050
Can you give me a sec? I
really need to take this.

738
00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:57,090
What, you're putting ME on hold?!

739
00:35:57,140 --> 00:36:00,370
Oh, my God! Sean, I'm so
sorry, man, I've been a total prick.

740
00:36:00,420 --> 00:36:02,490
No, no, I want that too.

741
00:36:02,540 --> 00:36:04,210
Just me and you.

742
00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:06,770
Yeah, just you and me, exactly.

743
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:08,250
Forget it!

744
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:11,980
Things with me and Norm, they're
really good so it's over, Dylan.

745
00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:19,170
OK, calm down, Sean. Where are you?

746
00:36:19,220 --> 00:36:22,050
I don't know where I am, man. I just ran.

747
00:36:22,100 --> 00:36:23,410
What?

748
00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,530
No, no, I can't hear shit.

749
00:36:25,580 --> 00:36:28,940
Er, I'm in a little town
just like a Chinatown.

750
00:36:30,060 --> 00:36:31,650
Sean?

751
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:33,970
Do we.. Shit!

752
00:36:34,020 --> 00:36:35,890
Where is he?
I don't know.

753
00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:38,690
His phone's just died and
he's in a town nearby.

754
00:36:38,740 --> 00:36:41,970
Does he know the name of the
place we're staying or anything?

755
00:36:42,020 --> 00:36:45,770
OK, I've got this. I've seen
almost every episode of The Hunt.

756
00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:47,170
So we need to find the nearest town,

757
00:36:47,220 --> 00:36:50,090
establish a perimeter and keep
patrolling it in two groups.

758
00:36:50,140 --> 00:36:51,530
Yeah, great.

759
00:36:51,580 --> 00:36:54,770
We should probably do mixed
gender though for safety.

760
00:36:54,820 --> 00:36:57,220
Yeah, makes sense.

761
00:37:01,060 --> 00:37:02,500
Sean?

762
00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:06,260
Sean?

763
00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:12,330
May, I think when we
get back to Beijing...

764
00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:14,770
Greg, can you turn that off?

765
00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:16,450
Oh, sorry.

766
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:19,650
It's OK. Yeah.
Thanks. What I am doing?

767
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,620
I...

768
00:37:23,740 --> 00:37:26,970
When we get back to Beijers, I
think I'm going to go my own way

769
00:37:27,020 --> 00:37:29,610
to quote Fleetwood Mac.

770
00:37:29,660 --> 00:37:32,600
You don't need my
bodyguarding anymore and...

771
00:37:34,260 --> 00:37:35,890
.. I know you want me to eff off.

772
00:37:35,940 --> 00:37:38,370
No, Greg.
That's not in a bad way. It's cool.

773
00:37:38,420 --> 00:37:43,250
I get it, I totally get it and
I'm ab fine with rejection. I am.

774
00:37:43,300 --> 00:37:46,250
I am ab fine with rejection.

775
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:48,180
I am.

776
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:52,210
No, Greg, I don't want that.

777
00:37:52,260 --> 00:37:55,330
No?
No, cos...

778
00:37:55,380 --> 00:37:58,290
To be honest, none of this has
gone how I thought it would

779
00:37:58,340 --> 00:38:01,610
and, despite what I expected,

780
00:38:01,660 --> 00:38:02,890
I like having you around.

781
00:38:02,940 --> 00:38:05,050
Yeah, fun to be around.

782
00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:08,570
Yeah, if you're happy to travel
with an uptight douchebag?

783
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:11,290
Of course I am, you silly nana.
What?

784
00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:13,690
No, no, no, no, no, that's
just an English phrase.

785
00:38:13,740 --> 00:38:15,650
That's a fun phrase we have.
OK.

786
00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:17,650
That's not meant as a slur.
Yeah.

787
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:19,890
Greg, just stop talking now.
I've stopped, yeah. OK.

788
00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:22,690
The... Sean! Sean.

789
00:38:22,740 --> 00:38:24,370
Sean?

790
00:38:24,420 --> 00:38:27,090
He's got to be here somewhere.

791
00:38:27,140 --> 00:38:30,970
I'm such a bad friend.
No, Dylan, no, it's not your fault.

792
00:38:31,020 --> 00:38:33,500
It's just a perfect storm.

793
00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:38,500
And I'm sorry about the...

794
00:38:45,940 --> 00:38:48,130
Keep them. They suit you.

795
00:38:48,180 --> 00:38:50,340
Thank you.

796
00:39:01,620 --> 00:39:04,220
What's that smell?

797
00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:08,850
Just China.

798
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:10,650
Have you shit yourself?

799
00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:14,370
Indirectly. It's not
actually mine if that helps.

800
00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:17,010
I'm going to go check for...
Yeah, yeah.

801
00:39:17,060 --> 00:39:19,420
I'm going to change my pants.

802
00:39:45,140 --> 00:39:48,290
Ah, there you go, Mavis.

803
00:39:48,340 --> 00:39:50,810
One sunrise.

804
00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,970
Have you heard from Sean?

805
00:39:53,020 --> 00:39:56,770
No, not yet. I'll just keep waiting.

806
00:39:56,820 --> 00:39:59,160
I'm not even tired or anything.

807
00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:10,290
How much longer are we going
to spend looking at it?

808
00:40:10,340 --> 00:40:13,010
Er...

809
00:40:13,060 --> 00:40:15,300
Yep, that'll do.

810
00:40:23,060 --> 00:40:24,900
Sean!

811
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:34,020
Hey! Hey!

812
00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:40,850
Hey, do you speak English?

813
00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:42,490
English?

814
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,090
I was in a festival by the Wall.

815
00:40:45,140 --> 00:40:47,010
A festival, yeah?

816
00:40:47,060 --> 00:40:49,090
Um, I need to get back there.

817
00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:51,570
Can you give me a lift?

818
00:40:51,620 --> 00:40:54,060
Yeah? Thank you.

819
00:40:59,940 --> 00:41:01,450
Thank you.

820
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:03,740
Thank you so much.

821
00:41:07,140 --> 00:41:08,690
Er...

822
00:41:08,740 --> 00:41:12,330
I think the wall's back
that way, mate. Hello.

823
00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:14,930
Oh! Hey!

824
00:41:14,980 --> 00:41:16,490
Hey, it's you.

825
00:41:16,540 --> 00:41:18,210
Um...

826
00:41:18,260 --> 00:41:20,850
We're going back to the festival, yeah?

827
00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:23,580
My friends... My friends I was with.

828
00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:27,860
I'm so sorry if we
offended you in any way.

829
00:41:33,460 --> 00:41:35,930
Yeah, OK! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

830
00:41:35,980 --> 00:41:37,370
Just please don't hurt me!

831
00:41:37,420 --> 00:41:39,530
I have money. Take it. Here.

832
00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:41,720
Just don't hurt me, please.

833
00:42:05,580 --> 00:42:07,170
I need to report a missing person.

834
00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:09,730
There was a fracas and he ran off.

835
00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:11,570
Yes, he's an adult.

836
00:42:11,620 --> 00:42:13,380
Sean!

837
00:42:14,620 --> 00:42:16,890
Just leave him here.

838
00:42:16,940 --> 00:42:19,050
I'm not going to miss my
cousin's wedding because

839
00:42:19,100 --> 00:42:21,610
a British guy I hardly know has
gone missing at a music festival

840
00:42:21,660 --> 00:42:23,450
in a not-especially-remote area.

841
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:26,600
Lock up your bridesmaids,
the British are coming.

842
00:42:27,580 --> 00:42:29,450
So, Sean, do you have a girlfriend?

843
00:42:29,500 --> 00:42:32,800
No, well, there is a girl
I kind of like in Hangzhou.

844
00:42:34,060 --> 00:42:36,730
Dude, dude, listen.
She chucked me.

845
00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:38,890
I know, right. Really poorly.

846
00:42:38,940 --> 00:42:40,690
Go with it.

847
00:42:40,740 --> 00:42:42,210
But it got weird.

848
00:42:42,260 --> 00:42:44,170
Yeah, it got REALLY weird.

849
00:42:44,220 --> 00:42:47,130
Cos I hate Lauren and I
hate who I was back then.

850
00:42:47,180 --> 00:42:48,890
Back when? Do you mean yesterday?

851
00:42:48,940 --> 00:42:52,130
If we're going to do this, we should
keep it to ourselves. Yeah, great.

852
00:42:52,180 --> 00:42:54,650
We can't really afford to
travel without our money

853
00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:58,130
so we're volunteering.
These children were abandoned as babies.

854
00:42:58,180 --> 00:43:00,380
Great. I mean, awful.

855
00:43:01,860 --> 00:43:05,490
We're in Thailand now, baby. You've
got to embrace the traveller vibe.

856
00:43:05,540 --> 00:43:08,080
Oh, that's so good.
Hey, Dylan.

857
00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:13,290
Dylan and I, we should be alone together.

858
00:43:13,340 --> 00:43:16,610
I just want to get absolutely ruined.

859
00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:19,970
I lost my scholarship so
I'm dropping out of college.

860
00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:23,170
If no-one finds us and
we don't eat we will DIE!

861
00:43:24,900 --> 00:43:27,450
Ashley! You want me
dead so you can eat me!

862
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:29,170
Well, come on, eat me!

863
00:43:29,220 --> 00:43:32,330
That's all I'm good for, isn't it? Me!

864
00:43:32,380 --> 00:43:33,850
Guess what tonight is.

865
00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:36,130
Yeah, you guessed it,
it's the Full Moon Party!

866
00:43:36,180 --> 00:43:38,450
Isn't that where people have
orgies and get shot and stuff?

867
00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:40,980
Yes, exactly, it's mental.

868
00:43:42,180 --> 00:43:44,250
Yes!

869
00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:46,370
This is going to be amazing.

870
00:43:46,420 --> 00:43:49,770
Look at my mom's itinerary. Do
you see any blank spaces anywhere?

871
00:43:49,820 --> 00:43:53,210
Yeah, but do I have to do that
bit? Like, is that important?

872
00:43:53,260 --> 00:43:55,730
If you're serious about
getting over your ex,

873
00:43:55,780 --> 00:43:59,410
you need to do the right
thing, you need to shock.

874
00:43:59,460 --> 00:44:03,760
Now that we're a gang again, you're
going to have to get through me.

875
00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:08,130
That's the joy of it. It's all about
taking a chance on people, on places

876
00:44:08,180 --> 00:44:09,810
and seeing what happens.

877
00:44:09,860 --> 00:44:12,660
Giving it a go and to hell with the risks.

878
00:44:13,380 --> 00:44:15,650
Turned myself into a kind of
Fonzie figure for you guys.

879
00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:18,490
What, the Muppets?
No, that's Fozzie.

880
00:44:18,540 --> 00:44:20,700
This is Fonzie.

881
00:44:25,500 --> 00:44:27,300
It's great stuff.
